19/03/09 - Feedback and Further Improvements

After watching our opening, Mr Michie (Media Teacher) gave us a sheet with helpful feedback including the good points and bad points regarding our thriller.

Overall, we achieved 30 marks out of 60. This results in a level 2 mark band giving us a D grade.

Feedback:
- Camera work is mostly controlled and steady throughout although there is one / two small errors.
- Framing of shots is poor with many shots too far away.
- Some variety of shot distances is evident but this is limited to the first 60 seconds.
- A large portion of the material is the same and this makes it a very boring film - there is no sense of pace of narrative structure.
- Mise-en-scene has been clearly thought out with the effective choice of location, dress and props.
- Editing is competent - there is considerable scope for improvement here which will also improve pace and continuity.
- Shot transitions are mostly ok but they need work - again this is directly connected to the sequencing and continuity of the piece.
- Diegetic sound and non-diegetic need significant improvement - the music feels simply placed on with little thought to how it fits the narrative structure.
- Titles have been well conceived and effectively distributed across the extract.

Targets for improvement:
- You need to cut a lot of material as it is way too long.
- You need to include a wider variety of shot distances and angles to convey meaning - particularly close ups. This will require some re-shooting.
- Some shots need to be held for longer.
- Confusing why Sehb simply sits down for about a second and gets back up again - this has very limited verisimilitude.
- The narrative structures needs to be addressed - this will be achieved by tightening up the editing.
- You need to incorporate the diegetic sound.
- You need to match the pace of the non-diegetic score the the pace of the extract.

My group has taken this feedback on board and will edit our opening accordingly, ultimately creating a better piece of work.