26/02/09 - Where to Go From Here

After watcing each group's rough-cut of thier thriller opening, and giving / recieving feedback on each, we were able to judge the quality of our own work and how others percieve it. Our teacher also gave us some feedback that my group will take on board when we go on to complete our opening

We were asked to rank each opening in order of best to worst. This is mine:

1. Next - Emily Prescott, Sehb Hundal and Amber Stubbings
2. Reflections - Andy Johnson, Georgia Sheppard, Charli Casey and Jade Stevenson
3. Money - Lewis Yates, Clare Martin and Lawrence Rayment
4. Disturbance of the Un-Woken - Amber Gamble, Jamie Winter, Huw Harris and Gemma Bicknell
5. Tracker - Sophie Hogan, Helen Skipworth, Charlotte Looney and Myself


Our opening consistently ranked bottom amongst the class, and with good reason. By watching the other group's openings, it was evident that our rough-cut was nowhere near the standard it needed to be. Our opening needs a lot of improvement to reach the standard it needs to be to obtain a high grade, but I feel that as a group, with more dedication and time we can easily accomplish this.

Grade: D
Mark: 30
Level: 2

Improvements:
1. The titles are too big- they need to be more subtle.
2. An establishing shot is needed, with the cafe in view, a slow pan would also help to build tension.
3. Get rid of the mid shot/close up of sehb, instead just get the brief case and torso in shot.
4. Hold the shot of sehb sitting down- tension.
5. Slow the pace down.
6. Do not cut before the character leaves the screen- hold the shot.
7. Cut straight into Andy at the fence watching Sehb escape- editing.
8. More emotional reactions.
9. Instead of loads use just one good shot of Andy running off screen- cut to Sehb walking through the entrance of the train station.
10. Finish with Sehb on the train, get a shot of Andys reaction, last shot will be the train pulling away.

Overall, I think that the narrative needs a lot of work so it flows and becomes more engaging, Additionally, the editing needs to be much more concise to help build the tension of the extract and help quicken / slow pace where appropriate. By doing this I feel the entire quality of our opening will be increased vastly.